Harmonious men's shared apartment with dog

"Gosh, why don't you come for good?" Ralf Knorr (r.) took this sentence from a neighbour with him when he said goodbye to Markus Prummer after a two-week trial apartment. The sentence stayed with him just as much as the good times he had in the detached house in Bielefeld-Stieghorst. Ralf Knorr soon realised that he would like to live with Markus Prummer permanently and make him feel at home. The two have now been living together for almost two years. They are supported by Bethel's Assisted Living in Families (BWF), which places people with a mental illness, mental disability or addiction in host families.

Ralf Knorr has not coped well mentally with the loss of people close to him and accidents. However, the 64-year-old has learnt to live with it better and better. He says: "It has to click with you: I need help, I want help. Then I'll get help." Ralf Knorr has found out for himself: Living as a family guest in a host family, as made possible by the BWF, is the ideal model for him. At Markus Prummer's, he has a nice 25 square metre room with a bed, desk and wardrobe. They share the bathroom, kitchen and living room.

The division of tasks is also clearly organised. While Markus Prummer works, Ralf Knorr takes care of the household, garden and dog Paul. "I do it all voluntarily," he emphasises. Markus Prummer does the shopping and cooks for the two of them. There have never been any arguments, they say. On the contrary, they have a lot of fun together and can laugh together. Humour brings them together. So much so that they have even gone on holiday together.

Markus Prummer worked for many years as a product manager in the textile industry. He now works as a carer in a senior citizens' centre. Supporting other people has become a central, meaningful theme in his life. When he became aware of the BWF's offer, Markus Prummer did not hesitate for long. "I can give Ralf a social structure, support and security without imposing anything on him," he says, "it's simply a good thing." He gives his flatmate practical support, for example, when he tries to translate letters from the authorities into understandable German for him. Markus Prummer receives a tax-free carer's allowance from the Landschaftsverband Westfalen-Lippe, as well as rent and a lump sum for living expenses from Ralf Knorr.

"Ralf Knorr and Markus Prummer are a prime example of what we want to achieve," says Karina Kuhlo. The BWF social pedagogue accompanies the two. The task of the specialised service is to enable people with disabilities to participate in everyday family life, receive support and lead a self-determined life.

After a placement, BWF employees visit families at intervals of three to four weeks to find out whether the hoped-for coexistence is working. "There are also conflicts in some families," says Karina Kuhlo, "in which case we offer to mediate." She emphasises that host families do not need to have any specialist skills. And clients don't have to worry about losing their previous home if they don't decide to move into a host family after a trial period.

Ralf Knorr is glad that he decided to move in with Markus Prummer. There is no time limit. He wants to stay because: "I've found a home here."

Text and photos: Phlipp Kreutzer